Sunday, October 28, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Saturday, December 31, 2011
I honestly don't know what to say.
What about 2011?
It’s an okay year I guess. 2011. All in all, I think it is not so bad and not so great. The usual stuff happens like I meet new people, I lose some friends, people talking shit behind my back (usual stuff), I do some good things, bad things, I laugh, I cry, I live and I learn.
“I don’t think your ability to fight has anything to do with how big you are. It has to do with how much anger is in you.” – Amy Winehouse
This might be the first time that I’m writing my new year’s blog at the very last minute. I didn’t forget about it, I just don’t know what to say. I’ve stopped writing for awhile(by that I mean my usual writings in my journal); I think I don’t know how to start again. (However, I wrote something in November and it feels great!)
You know what makes me happy inside? 1) People who believe in resolutions even though they hardly stick to them but never give up on coming up with one and 2) my favourite TV shows – Alia
2011 seems like forever but also seems so short at the same time. I don’t know how to explain that. You see, that earthquake in Japan seems like a year ago to me. It seems like it happened a long time ago but at the same time I don’t know where my 2011 go? Like in a blink of an eye, we are all here approaching a brand new year.
Well, since I don’t have much to say about this year, let’s see if achieve my 2011 resolutions.
Pray more often x
Eat Less and Don’t Overeat =
Workout more x
Drink less SODA :)
Tweet more x
Go out and explore :)
Save more money x :)
Read more books x
Work harder at everything ?
Sleep less…yes,less x
Eat less junk food x
Activate my gym membership and at least go twice in a month x
Polish up my cooking and learn mom’s secret recipes x
FIND A PERFECT JEANS x :) (well, what I found is almost perfect)
MY MAIN RESOLUTION: To appreciate more and live life with positivity and remember to laugh or at least smile every day. :)
:) x 2/15
I can do better than that! I’m not upset about it. I really do think I should pray more though and polish my cooking skills.
I hate it when people say something like “ I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions. You don’t have to wait till the New Year to start something.” SHUT UP!!! THE ONLY REASON YOU ARE SAYING THAT IS BECAUSE YOU HEARD SOMEONE ELSE SAID IT AND YOU THINK IT’S COOL AND YOU ARE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO BE A BETTER PERSON OR ACHIEVE SOMETHING!
I’m gonna make 2012 my bitch! Why? Because I’m a DRAGON!!and this year is our time to shine!! ;)
So here is what I hope for 2012! :-
“The person who knows how will always have a job. The person who knows why will always be his boss.” - Alanis Morissette
I know that wanting to be happy is overrated but I still want them. I know people don’t really get them but I still want them. 2012 has got to be my year. I want to do well in my studies. I want to be healthier than I was before. By that I mean, I was hoping that I don’t get sick that much and my migraines would eventually go to hell. Lol. I also want the best for my family…really. I wish them nothing but the best. I am going to do this “lifestyle change” bullshit that I keep hearing people say. Personally, I don’t believe it because I just want to go on a strict diet, lose all the access baggage and then eat like a monster and don’t gain any. Just like all those skinny bitches that eat like sumo wrestler but don’t gain weight. But I have to stay realistic so “lifestyle change” is the way to go. I also want to be a better Muslim…you know. Pray more and really just be a better person. I want to start writing again. It’s about time. I stopped writing because I don’t see the fun in it anymore. People read my hand written journal and spread it, people read my blog and spread it which could be a good thing but instead they take the words out of context and turn it into something negative. You get my point when I say I just don’t see fun in writing anymore. You don’t do that to someone who is paranoid like me. But this year, I wanna say fuck them. I love writing and I should continue doing so. I bought a DIARY. Lol. We all know that it is not gonna work out well but instead of getting a thick day to day diary, I got a weekly diary meaning smaller space to write so I won’t feel pressured writing and leaving the diary untouchable for the rest of the year. I’m also gonna start reading this book on how to improve my English writing that I bought a year ago. My grammar is bad, my bad. Lol. English is not my first language though I always assume it is. I want to travel this year. Explore more things. Be less awkward around people. Be smarter. Read more awesome stuff. Find that perfect jeans. Buy more shoes (when is that never the resolution?). Yes, I know one thing is missing. Relationship. My best friend said I’m old and need to get one. My mother is hinting about it too. My friends are worried that I don’t have a boyfriend. Frankly, it is not a priority in my life. I know most people don’t get it but I don’t see the point of being miserable over it. If it was meant to be, then it was meant to be. If a guy is willing to put up with my shit, then that’s great!!! But if they don’t then I’ll be just fine. Yes, I know I’m not getting any younger and it is great to have someone who loves you but you can’t force people to like you and I won’t settle for less. I deserve to be with someone who believes they deserve me, vice versa. I want someone to man up, be that price charming, be that exception and be the one. I’m not interested in games so I’m not gonna go fool around. I only want the real thing. ß Too much to ask apparently, I KNOW!!! Now we move on to my resolutions for the new year (for some who don’t have things to say, I say a LOT! LOL!).
“Call your positive friends. Don’t waste your time with the wrong people like I did. Stay away from negative people. The people you mix with will determine your future.” – Telemachus Lo
My resolutions for 2012:
- Pray More
- Eat Healthier
- Workout More
- Save Money
- Travel Read
- More Books
- Find a Perfect Jeans
- Improve my writing/grammar
- Maybe blog more and get more readers like I used to have
- Be less awkward around people
- Don’t stutter when nervous
- No more car accidents (PLEASE!)
- Be a little bit likeable (which is a challenge since I’m not a likeable person)
- MAIN RESOLUTION: Get to the ideal size so that I can renew my broken ID card. (The reason why I don’t want to renew it since 2010 is because my face is soooo big)
That’s about it.
Happy New Year to everyone!!! I hope 2012 will be super awesome for all of us. Let me hear you Dragons ROAR!!!! ;)
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs
Friday, December 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
Sunday, July 31, 2011
It is my favourite Islamic month. I’m sure most Muslims who fast every year will say the same thing. I don’t know what is it about fasting during Ramadan but it is much different than fasting on any other month. It is much more challenging but you’ll get the kick out of it. Completing a day of fasting is like an awesome achievement. Imagine how we’ll feel after a month. This year, unlike most years we are only going to fast for 29 days (usually it’s 30).
I am not exactly religious so I can’t explain to you what Ramadan is in detail (though my dad can.lol) but I do know some basic stuff. One of the main purposes of fasting is for us to be more grateful. We will wake up before the sun rises and eat our meal (known as Sahur) and we will have to stop drinking and eating after the sun rises which will be around 5:13am (in my city). We have to give up eating, drinking, intercourse, gossiping, cursing etc (Basically be a good person who don’t eat or drink). When the sun starts to set, that would be around 6:55pm, we will break our fast (known as Iftar) –meaning we all can eat! We can eat from 6:55 onwards until 5:13am the next day. This goes on for 29 days.
By giving up food and drinks we will appreciate their value and be more grateful of what we had. By fasting, hopefully we will be more empathetic towards the poor who had so little or nothing to eat at all. We will remember those who are in that situation and we will give some food to those in need. Sharing is after all -- caring. ;)
We will do most good deeds while we are fasting (at least that is what we are supposed to do). So I shall curse less or not at all, be less angry or not angry at all, be patience, be grateful, be more empathetic, be more forgiving and more giving to those who needed it and be nicer. After fasting for 29 days we will celebrate Eid where we forgive and ask for forgiveness for all the wrong we did in this world.
So Happy Ramadan and Happy Fasting. Let's make the most out of it.
Ps: Oh yea, families will all gather together during Sahur and Iftar so Ramadan also brings family closer together. :))
Pss: The only thing I hate is that after Ramadan, the break is over and I have to go to class. Bummer! (lol. yes, I am that lazy and I hate the environment in campus and you cant blame me for that :P )
Friday, July 29, 2011
I know I’ve mentioned a lot on my blog (Myspace) and twitter that I’ve been stalked. I’m sure people who read it are as sick of it as I am.
It’s no fun feeling paranoid all the time. The person who stalked me probably doesn’t stalk me anymore. I don’t know. I sure hope not. The truth is that I never really give a shit about other people. I don’t spend my time finding out about how someone is doing or what are they currently doing or have done.I don’t see the point of knowing stuff like that.
I am not going to lie but like everyone else I’ve stalked someone before in my life and the outcome is bad. I regret doing it and I wish I could turn back time and undo it all.
After that incident years and years ago I told myself to never do something you don’t want others to do to you. I’ve only stalked 2 people in my life. Let’s just call them Siegfried & Roy(not their real name of course..duuhh).
I stalked Siegfried because he sang to me. Over the phone that is. So my dumbass was so freaking turned on and thought it meant something though I know it doesn’t mean a thing. Siegfried is practically a jerk and I am annoyed with him all the time. I always feel like the weirdo among my friends because they are always “crushing” on someone and I just don’t. So I’ve decided to make Siegfried my “crush” and God knows he’s not.
I stopped stalking Siegfried after he thinks I’m crazy and I’m starting to think so too so I stopped. I don’t even like this guy. Why on earth do I even stalk him? Probably its because of the guilt I felt after I stood him up.(Yes, I did)
Years later, I stalked Roy. Now, this guy is like a curse. He is everything I don’t want in a guy (except for his gorgeous hair). He is a loser and everything I criticize about a guy before. I don’t know why I feel like I need to save him from his pathetic life. I felt like cupid got a seizure and hit me by mistake or it was just KARMA for criticizing every guy that my friends date. But I was in luck (sure doesn’t feel like it at that moment), because Roy have no feeling whatsoever towards me. How I found out? I told him I love him! LMAO. Then I stopped being in contact with him after he gave me the “but we could be friends” speech.
Though I no longer stalked Siegfried, I do have that “desire” to online stalk on Roy. Actually, I did stalk him few months after the being rejected. I even googled this guy. It is so freaking crazy. Up till today, though I have successfully restrained myself from typing his name or email on any search browsers, I do have the feeling of wanting to know what he is up to now.
I’ll tell you why I’m still paranoid over this stalking crap. It is because once you are a stalker, you will always be one. The internet is literally on your fingertips and as much people try not to stalk that someone maybe your best friend will. Of course, they just “come across” their profiles (whatevs) but stalking is like a sickness.
Maybe the reason I got stalked is because of what I did to Siegfried & Roy. I believe in Karma so I hope this would be the last time someone does crazy shit like this to me. Because I am done stalking and I am sure done being stalked.
Ps: I am also paranoid because I've seen enough of nosy people who love stalking others and trying to find others fault.(This goes to family and friends - who is not my immediate family or friends) MYOB people. Just MYOB!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Of course you do
How can you not?
But is that all that you can do?
You’re not even trying to fix anything
Yes, it is broken and need to be fixed
You broke it so you need to fix it
Telling people you miss me is not enough
Never will be
Of course you me miss
You’ve never met anything like me
I’m annoying but I make you laugh
I nagged but I’m understanding
I give advice but I don’t judge
I have doubts but I gave you my trust
I always hang at your place
When you hang at mine
your parents will call like as if I’m such a bad influence
When the fact is all I do is read books and go online
You on the other hand are doing drugs and getting drunk
But I stay by your side
You are the one who left without a word
As if we live thousand miles away
As if there’s no technology
Telling people you miss me won’t fix it
If you really miss me, you know what to do
All I did was trying to help you
But you accuse me of wanting what you want
As if that doesn’t hurt
You go against me
You stop talking to me
And I have to do the unthinkable for my own pride
You push me to it
And now you miss me?
Because you will never get someone like me again
Telling people you miss me is stupid
It wont change a thing
You know what to do to win me back
After all I always think that you know me better than anyone
But you didn’t do the right thing to win me back
And now I think it’s too late
You miss me?
It might be your guilt
For all the lies you spread around about me
Texting me and
Telling people you miss me won’t earn you my forgiveness
But I’ve forgiven everyone but not the things they’ve done
Of course you miss me
Of course you regret it all
Of course you wish you could turn back the time
I am always defending you and now you’re alone
Because now you can see clearly
Now you can see the true colours
Maybe karma bite your ass
Maybe that’s why you think of me
Maybe that’s why you miss me
You miss me right?
I know you will
From the day you fucked up
I know you’ll miss me
It is so predictable
The things I can’t believe is how fucked up you are
I didn’t see it coming
I never judge you but when you start judging me
I hate your guts when I’m not there
I hate your coward ass when I’m there
I thought I’ve laid it out for you
Lie after lie after lie after lie
Do you live your life based on that?
And if you tell the world you miss me
How can I know that it’s not just another lie?
After all, it’s what you are
You miss me huh?
By getting hitched?
Sure you do.
I am everything you can’t have
You can before but you can’t now
Missing me won’t change your pathetic path
Missing me wont make me come running
You stabbed me with the sharpest thorn
I am now in pieces because of you
Of course you miss me
Everyone misses me
It doesn’t matter
3 years or
You’ll miss me
You will always miss me
It’s a curse
I’m the one thing you can’t forget
Even if you try...
Friday, July 22, 2011
Happy Birthday Shawn.
I love you.
I could bore readers with tons of poetry written for this guy.
To be honest, I don’t know why I love him.
With twitter, I realize that there are more than 50,000 girls out there who grow up watching Shawn and are obsessed with him as much as I am.
I can’t say that I’m pleased with that. I guess I am jealous. Lol
His charisma. He charmed all of his fans by just being him.
My parents know I love this guy.
My siblings and friends too.
I guess, I will always love him.
He will never love me as much but that’s ok.
I don’t know what about him that makes me smile.
Shawn, you make me smile.
I don’t think there’s a word to describe my feelings for you.
Just thinking about you makes me float up in the air.
I get all hot just thinking about you.
I guess you’re right when you say “I make you feel like you’re on cloud nine.”
When you smile, I smile
When you laugh, I laugh
When you cry, I cry
When you’re in pain, I’m in pain
Oh and you are so sexy. Soooo sexy.
Happy Birthday love!